Fret not...

...I'm still here - and well and truly still on the wagon. Just really busy at work, and without internet access at home yet.

Weekend was, um, ok - yesterday and today have been brilliant.

It's all good in the hood.

Summary

Yesterday rubbish. Today good.

That is all.

Celebrate good times, come on!

Well I'm proud to report my first 100% successful weekend since the dawn of this snackign blog.

Played football on Saturday morning and played really well (in part because of the improved fitness) and then had a SlimFast before going to stay and Mum & Dad-in-laws for the weekend. Paced myself well with the food on offer and was generally buoyed by the compliments I was getting with my diet progress (they follow the blog) - it was all good. Even brought a SlimFast bar with me for breakfast - that's how good I was!

Today is a similar success - SlimFast this morning, plus SlimFast soup for lunch, plus my brand new bike came today, which should make the cycling more fun. Yay!

Football training tonight - will try and and avoid nearly vomitting this time after shuttle runs.

:)

(Oh, and I'll be going running with Daz this week sometime too).

Cake

Howdy snack-fans,

Well this week has been a roaring success so far. Tuesday was good as was yesterday, though it started off in a rather damp way, as I decided to walk to our new offices (about a 30 min walk) and 5 mins in the heavens opened, and poor coat-less, umbrella-less Andy got drenched. To make matters worse, I was listening to the song "Summer in the city" at the time. Grrrrr

Still, new office living is good. We have cheap snacks provided at cost to the employees here, which previously was a bit of an issue - so I did a deal with our office administrator to charge me triple for each snack to put me off. Now that the selection has been expanded, we've negotiated a price-hike to make sure I'm not tempted. Each snack will now cost me 5 english pounds. So I'm not likely to be purchasing any anytime soon.

Went up the pub yesterday and had a few pints whilst watching the football match (which earns a Grrrr, on its own merits), but no snacking which was good.

This morning was also ace. Cycled in to work and had a SlimFast soup for lunch (in addition to the SlimFast milkshake this morning). All good there. Was starting to feel peckish post-lunch (despite eating my fruit) and was feeling a bit weak, and as luck (or not) would have it, one of my colleagues had a birthday today, and his girlfriend brought in a lovely hand-made birthday cake. Dammit, I wanted a piece so badly.

She assured me that one half (the left half) was entirely fat free, so I had a thin slice. No biggy, and I really enjoyed it - but not a completely blemish free record today, sadly.

Should be able to close out the rest of the day fine though.

I'm still here

...just a bit busy/distracted right now, and still no internet at home - grrrrrrrrr.

Anyways, to sum up. Weekend ok (Saturday bad, Sunday good) and yesterday and today have been ace.

Bit ill at the moment, but only the sniffles.

Doing a bit better

Head still above water, and a pep talk from B has definitely steadied the ship a little. Doing well so far.

Tired

Tired, in more than one sense, actually.

Tuesday was ok - survived the chip-shop without too much harm (though, chips, being what they are are never the most healthy of things!)

Yesterday was a mini-disaster. Coming down with a sore-throat, and feeling more than a little bit tired and emotional, and this never bodes well. Spent almost all morning thinking of a way that I could eat something. Mentally trying to find a way, and I did find a way. Had a big chocolate bar which was heavenly. I'd love to say that I felt worse afterwards, but the truth of the matter is that I didn't - I felt better - and isn't that half of the problem?

The rest of the day was fine. Gave blood in the afternoon which left me feeling tired and wobbly, so had some free biscuits in the blood-mobile, but you are meant to, so I don't feel bad about that. Evening then passed without incident.

See, the problem now, is that my resolve is starting to crack. All I can think about is how ill I feel, how emotional I am right now, and how that can pretty much be drowned out by something to eat. And I'm tired, and running out of energy to beat it.

All I can think about is how to eat food without someone finding out about it - and so the moment a chance presents itself, it's not just that I'm weak, but it's that this is the chance that a large part of me as been looking for for most of the day. And if I resist, I just feel worse, because I know that a solution to my emotional hunger is but a reach away, and if I deny it to myself, I'm consigning myself to feeling like this - which really is a form of hurting myself.

So not snacking, in this sense, feels more like hurting myself than eating (which, ironically *is* hurting myself). I mean, how do you fight against that?

The pertinent question then becomes, how do I cheer myself up (and avoid feeling ill and tired) without eating. And if there isn't another way - then isn't it kinda crappy to deny myself the one thing that will help me?

Seriously, suggestions needed. In the meantime I'll keep trying to hold on to the tiny scrap of energy I have left to resist. I may well crack.

:(

Today

Hello my friends in snack-land,

Today has been good. Had a coffee this morning (my normal skinny Caramel Machiatto) - and no snacking to report. Lots of squash too, so I haven't felt in any snack-related danger.

There was a cake and chocolate in the kitchen this morning - but found it pretty easy to resist.

Football training yesterday was ace. Felt fitter than I have in a long time - and didn't have any trouble with the fitness work, or getting through lots of running during the game. Starting to see some progress!

Tonight we have a 'fish and chips' social at our house for cell group, which should be ace. Will try not to go overboard with it, but I'm fairly powerless against paperfulls of delicious starchy, greasy goodness. Will try though.

Quick update

Hey there blog-fans,

Just a quick update on things. Weekend was a mixed bag. Saturday was, on the whole, ok. Away at a conference, but little in the way of snacking.

Sunday was a disaster. On my own and pigging out on breakfast cereal (which seems to be my weakness of choice at the moment). Had to dispose of the tasty little things before I worked my way throw an entire packet - and after that things were largely ok. Bit annoying but not great.

Today, as is the way of things, is going ace. Routine is the number one tool in the dieter's toolbox. Haven't had a coffee today yet, mind, which is making me yawn lots.

More later...

Yay

Closed the day out well! :)

No updates till next week as we still haven't got 'the net' at home sorted yet.

Pork pie

There was a free pork pie going in the kitchen at work with an "eat me" sign on top of it.

*shakes fist at the sky*

"Damn you poetic justice!"

I stared it down though and it was defeated. Pork pie 0 Andy 1. I soooo rule today.

Yesterday

Hmmmm, yesterday was less than stellar. Dinner was fine, went home and had a SlimFast (after spending an hour or so trying to figure out how the electricity in the downstairs of our new house worked). Sat myself on the sofa for a mammoth West Wing session and started to feel very peckish, so had an apple. An hour later, still peckish, so I grab a yoghurt - t'is only small and good for a stop-gap. An hour later, still hungry and I'm mentally scanning the kitchen for something to eat. Decide to resist and make myself a cup of hot chocolate to take my mind off of food. Half an hour later, still hungry. Mentally scanning kitchen again.

Target aquired.

I could have a bowl of cereal, I think.

At the point I entertain the notion, it's already too late. I was feeling weak before coming up with the idea, and now I'm doomed. So I have a bowl, purposely choosing a small bowl, so that I don't have too much.

A nanosecond of guilt as I finish up the delicious bowl.

I could have another one, I think.

Damn. Foiled again. I have a second bowl.

This time the guilt is bigger and mentally I'm weighing up the good I've achieved all day with the indiscretion of the evening. Am I still up? Probably. I probably haven't undone the good work, yet. But it's a close run thing - and I almost certainly haven't lost any weight. Damn.

So, step one in beating the enemy is knowing the enemy. Why did I struggle?

Theory 1: I was on my own. I'm awful on my own. Not much I can do about that one though.

Theory 2: I was watching telly on the sofa. Mentally I associate lazy TV viewing with eating, that's something that needs to be undone. I'll be wiser the next time.

Theory 3: I was feeling annoyed because I couldn't fix the electricity issue we were having - and we all know how I cheer myself up. Need to find a better way of cheering myself up.

Theory 4: I onl had breakfast cereal because there was sugar around to have on top of the cereal. No sugar, no cereal. I'll get B to hide the sugar. Result.

Anyways, today is going well. No sweetener at work, so had to have sugar in my coffee, but had SlimFast this morning and have resisted free food brought in by a colleague (including, ironically enough, breakfast cereal).

Today should be fine, I reckon.

Still going well

Yay, etc... Had lunch round Chris's, so it's SlimFast this evening, which might be a challenge, come 9pm, but I shall try distraction therapy, by distracting myself with either West Wing (series 6) or a computer game of some such. Evening to myself, y'see...

SlimFast

Right, I've had this post brewing for a while, but haven't had a chance to type it up till now. When people find out that I'm 'on' SlimFast they always frown, look down their noses and then try to 'correct' stuff that I 'haven't thought of'.

So, in an affort to placate all of your fears, here's NOT why I'm doing SlimFast:

• I'm not doing it to 'lose weight fast' - In my book, the product is poorly named and leads people to think that it's some fad, alongside diet pills and herbal remedies. I'm losing weight slowly, and I'm completely happy with that.


• I'm not doing it as a short-term fix. It's helping me to change my relationship with food, and I'm hoping that that's a long-term thing. I'm learning that I need alot less than I used to eat for my lunch and breakfast, and that meals that are 'functional' can still provide me with all I need for the day.


• I'm not doing it because I have no idea about nutrition. I know an amazing lot about nutrition and part of the reason I'm doing SlimFast is because it's a calorie-controlled way to stop me over-indulging with two of my meals. It's nutrionally balanced to make sure I'm not missing out on stuff and is designed to be combined with other stuff through the day, like fruit - which I do. I make sure I get my 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day, and B and I always eat exciting and balanced meals in the evening.


• I'm not assuming that I'll lose weight simply through dieting - I make sure I get a good deal of exercise (and actually, pretty much always have - it's just that my diet is so bad that it normally undoes all of the good work done with the exercise!). I cycle to work most days - play football atleast 2 times a week, sometimes go for a run, and if I can, try to get a game of squash in too.


• I'm not doing it because I'm too lazy, or don't know that I can buy low-calorie foods on my own and restrict my diet that way. The precise problem I have is that I'm prone to weakness when I'm left up to regulating my diet right now, and that's why a set number of nutrionally balanced calories for two meals in the day is helpful.

So, I know SlimFast sounds like it's a dodgy remedy for lazy chavs - but I'm finding it helpful, so that's a good thing, right?

The last two

Wow, it's been a really good week so far. The rest of Tuesday passed without incident, despite watching the two-hour episode of Lost on my own (late-night TV watching has prime-time snacking potential). No need to dodge the biscuit temptation at cell group too as we arrived too late to be offered coffee, so that was nice.

Yesterday, too, was all good. SlimFast at breakfast and lunch (plus fruit) and spanish chicken (with healthier brown rice) to see out the day. Had a couple of glasses of wine with the meal, but only 2 small glasses and we still have wine left in the bottle this morning, which is good for us!

This morning SlimFast, check! Also got up early to drop B to work, so went out for a run with Darren which was ace - if not a little frustrating as my ankles were a bit tender, so we ended up walking about half of it. Nice start to the day though.

Working day has started off with coffee avec sweetener, and a nice glass of squash to make sure I'm hydrated. Right now feeling strong, and definitely seeing an improvement in my appearance and the way that my clothes are fitting - which fills me full of hope, and further spurs me on.

All good in the hood

Football was good yesterday - despite carrying a slight knock was able to join in with most of the fitness work and felt full of energy in the match, which was ace - and about the first time this season I've felt like that. Definitely starting to see and improvement in the ol' physique and mum-in-law spotted that I'd lost a bit of a weight at the weekend, which was nice.

Made sure I drank lots of fluids both before and after, so the evening wasn't a problem. Had an orange as I unwound for the night, but didn't feel in the slightest bit of danger with snacking, so that was good.

Today has started off well. Met James for coffee this morning and had my 'usual'. Grabbed a small bite of his rasberry danish pastry - but only because he offered me some (probably in an attempt to feature on this blog!) - but was a very small bit, so I'm not going to worry about that.

Keeping myself hydrated now - so far so good.

Today

Well, today has been good and has passed largely without incident - kept myself nice and hydrated which is always good for a success (and largely my downfall last week, I suspect).

Last week wasn't so good and most of the days had snacking issues - but looking back on it, it was very tame for me and could have been a whole lot worse. That said I felt that I completely lost my way diet-wise last week, so I'm determined to get back to basics! The house is pretty much sorted now, so I have some element of routine back which is nice - so hopefully I'll just be able to leap back on the wagon, as it were.

Tonight is football, followed by an evening by myself as B is working a night. Nights are always problematic in those cases, but I'm going in prepared and I'll make sure I drink loads of fluids after football to head off an issues. Should be ok.

More updates tomorrow - I promise! :)

Apologies

...for the lack of updateage. No internet at home yet, so work is the only access I can muster. And I'm semi-busy at the moment.

Will update you all in a bit though.

(it's going quite well today)

Biscuits

Arse. There is a whole tray of delicious looking Spanish biscuits in our office kitchen, from someone who's just come back from Spain, and I succumbed. But only 1, and only after some persistent tempting from another colleague (who rather elegantly pointed out the least calorifc of all the biscuits (a small airy thing) that really would be better than nibbling on anything else.

So I did. Made a coffee and then walked away. A minor triumph, all told - given the amount of the tasty little norsels that I wanted to wolf down. Particularly the almondy/buttery flapjacks.

Is there anything more tempting and calorific than buttery flapjacks? I thinketh not.

Still going

Still going strong - but feeling very peckish, it has to be said. No unhealthy goodies around - and I've brought an extra orange with me if I'm struggling - but man I could murder some food right now.

Any food pretty much*, just food.

* ok, not cucumber, olives or melons.