On holiday for a week, which should be ace, though brings with it unique challenges. Started off fun though with a lovely cooked breakfast at Zebs (a small one, which is a good sign from me), and I'll be having my last SlimFast of the week today before we set off.
We are eating out most nights, but that'll be nice as it's nearly always snacking that's the problem with me, and there are less opportunities to snack when I'm with B (plus I don't feel nearly as emotionally needy when I'm with her, which helps the ol' snacking issue).
Anyways, there probably won't be many updates for a few days while I'm away, but don't think I'm fallen off the wagon - it's just cos I haven't got easy access to a computer! As an aside, what is this wagon that you can be on, or fall off?! Anyone know?
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
Day 2
Just about made it. Whoop-de-do.
Today was hard, and pretty crappy. Without my normal emotional escape hatch I'm just feeling tired and down and fairly depressed. Man, I'm so hungry and it feels like I've been hungry all day.
Managed to force myself to go out for a run this evening which was kinda fun, though it started raining and then I started feeling all melancholy so just ended up walking in the rain and thinking 'bout stuff. Felt like the old days.
Desperate to eat something, and preferably something sugary, so I suspect I should go to bed before I actually do.
I hope this gets easier.
Today was hard, and pretty crappy. Without my normal emotional escape hatch I'm just feeling tired and down and fairly depressed. Man, I'm so hungry and it feels like I've been hungry all day.
Managed to force myself to go out for a run this evening which was kinda fun, though it started raining and then I started feeling all melancholy so just ended up walking in the rain and thinking 'bout stuff. Felt like the old days.
Desperate to eat something, and preferably something sugary, so I suspect I should go to bed before I actually do.
I hope this gets easier.
Almost there!
And yet so far...
I'm just about keeping my head above water, but I'm struggling right now, in all honestly. I just have this kinda hungry pain in the pit of my tummy which won't go away. I know it's not real hunger, but for years I've recognised it as hunger and it's very hard to break that cycle.
The added danger is that I'm cooking for myself tonight as B is at work, so I could well overfeed myself in response. I imagine it'll do myself some pasta, so I'll limit myself to 100 grams (dry weight, about 350 kcals) to prevent being buried in a pastalanche and then I'll throw-in a bunch of vegetables to make up the numbers. Yum!
Dammit, the thought alone is driving me on. Not sure that's healthy.
I'm just about keeping my head above water, but I'm struggling right now, in all honestly. I just have this kinda hungry pain in the pit of my tummy which won't go away. I know it's not real hunger, but for years I've recognised it as hunger and it's very hard to break that cycle.
The added danger is that I'm cooking for myself tonight as B is at work, so I could well overfeed myself in response. I imagine it'll do myself some pasta, so I'll limit myself to 100 grams (dry weight, about 350 kcals) to prevent being buried in a pastalanche and then I'll throw-in a bunch of vegetables to make up the numbers. Yum!
Dammit, the thought alone is driving me on. Not sure that's healthy.
The scores just in
Ice cream man 0
Andy 1
In your face, Mr Whippy! You'll have to try harder than that!
(We have an ice cream man who pops to our building every Friday afternoon. See? This is the level of temptation I am confronted by!)
Andy 1
In your face, Mr Whippy! You'll have to try harder than that!
(We have an ice cream man who pops to our building every Friday afternoon. See? This is the level of temptation I am confronted by!)
Post lunch
...and we are still going well. The chocolate SlimFast shake wasn't the tastest, mind - and it has done nothing to give me that 'full' feeling which I seem to crave. But temporarily, at least, I am feeling quite strong.
Mind you - two clementines to last the long afternoon. I suspect this is going to be agony by half four.
Mind you - two clementines to last the long afternoon. I suspect this is going to be agony by half four.
Squash
"Celebrate good times, C'mon! Doodoodoodoo-doo-doodoodoo"
The "free" Snickers have all gone, save for a few colleagues' personal 'stash'. I can relax just a little bit now, hurrah!
Nearly forgot to drink plenty of squash today which could have spelt disaster. Apparantly your brain often confuses the need for water (thirst) with the need for food (hunger) and thus if you make sure you are nicely hydrated, you'll find it easier to resist snacking. Certainly seemed to help yesterday, and seeing as my morning hours are inevitably spent drinking coffee, I'm probably dehydrated most of the time at work, which might well explain a few things.
Lunch in about an hour and I'm down to 3 bits of fruit left for the day (plus a 'shake). This one could be a bit of a battle.
The "free" Snickers have all gone, save for a few colleagues' personal 'stash'. I can relax just a little bit now, hurrah!
Nearly forgot to drink plenty of squash today which could have spelt disaster. Apparantly your brain often confuses the need for water (thirst) with the need for food (hunger) and thus if you make sure you are nicely hydrated, you'll find it easier to resist snacking. Certainly seemed to help yesterday, and seeing as my morning hours are inevitably spent drinking coffee, I'm probably dehydrated most of the time at work, which might well explain a few things.
Lunch in about an hour and I'm down to 3 bits of fruit left for the day (plus a 'shake). This one could be a bit of a battle.
Surprise
I was gearing myself for the daily battle against Snickers and flapjacks, so I was somewhat surprised to find free pork-pies on offer at work this morning. See, you've always got to be on your guard at this place.
Nice try, Hungor, but I think you'll find I resisted!
Nice try, Hungor, but I think you'll find I resisted!
Breakfast
Well, you'll all be pleased to know that I've successfully tackled the first challenge of the day: Breakfast.
I reckon, if I was to analyse where I screw up most of my diet-days, I reckon at least 50% of them go wrong with the first meal of the day. When I was eating cereal (I'm currently doing SlimFast, remember) it was easy to give in to the hungry devil, firstly I would always use a big bowl and super fill it. Then, after wolfing down a delicious mixture of milk and carbohydrates, I would do the dance of the second-bowl-decision.
In my experience if I even start doing the dance and set off down the path about thinking about a second bowl, the decision has been made to go for it long before I'm aware of it. So I normally mentally battle for about a minute before reaching for the cereal packet and indulging.
Once the day has been 'ruined' by this indescression - it's easy for the rest of the day to go the same way.
And you'd think it'd be easier with SlimFast, wouldn't you? I mean, you have a delicious and healthy milkshake for breakfast - it's hard to screw that one up. Well, you'd be wrong. The temptation to have a second is still there, and if anything it's worse because not only are you lusting after carbs at that time in the morning - but also, after downing a 'shake in record time, you are also still incredibly hungry. Not good.
The solution this morning? Go back to bed for an hour - thus removing the potential slipping up time from the day. Genius. Now I'm not that hungry, but I am incredibly sleepy; Good thing I have coffee in my life.
More later.
I reckon, if I was to analyse where I screw up most of my diet-days, I reckon at least 50% of them go wrong with the first meal of the day. When I was eating cereal (I'm currently doing SlimFast, remember) it was easy to give in to the hungry devil, firstly I would always use a big bowl and super fill it. Then, after wolfing down a delicious mixture of milk and carbohydrates, I would do the dance of the second-bowl-decision.
In my experience if I even start doing the dance and set off down the path about thinking about a second bowl, the decision has been made to go for it long before I'm aware of it. So I normally mentally battle for about a minute before reaching for the cereal packet and indulging.
Once the day has been 'ruined' by this indescression - it's easy for the rest of the day to go the same way.
And you'd think it'd be easier with SlimFast, wouldn't you? I mean, you have a delicious and healthy milkshake for breakfast - it's hard to screw that one up. Well, you'd be wrong. The temptation to have a second is still there, and if anything it's worse because not only are you lusting after carbs at that time in the morning - but also, after downing a 'shake in record time, you are also still incredibly hungry. Not good.
The solution this morning? Go back to bed for an hour - thus removing the potential slipping up time from the day. Genius. Now I'm not that hungry, but I am incredibly sleepy; Good thing I have coffee in my life.
More later.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
And relax
Day 1. We've made it. Here's to a guilt-free evening meal! Hurrah! We going for dinner round some friends' so no need to fear the snack monster... until I get home afterwards!
How long!??
Arse. All the fruit has gone, I've drank plenty of fluid and yet I'm still lusting after chocolate. This time the attack is not coming head-on from the Snickers, but instead from the flanks of the lovely chocolate-chip flapjacks we have in the kitchen at work.
Maybe a cup of coffee will satisfy my need to have *something*. Or maybe it's the desire to be satisfied that is the root of this whole problem?
Anyways, I'm not going to bottle it. Not on my first day of blogging my diet - no siree bob. It's going to be a longgggggggggggg 2 hours.
Maybe a cup of coffee will satisfy my need to have *something*. Or maybe it's the desire to be satisfied that is the root of this whole problem?
Anyways, I'm not going to bottle it. Not on my first day of blogging my diet - no siree bob. It's going to be a longgggggggggggg 2 hours.
Post lunch
Going well so far. Had my SlimFast milkshake which was yummy as normal (I'm being serious here, I actually quite like them).
Trying to avoid thinking about Snickers (and how they taste) right now, which is not easy as several work colleagues keep teasing me by eating them near me (and drawing attention to it). Makes me more determined not to bottle it, mind.
Have an apple and two clementines left to complete the day (another 3 1/2 hours). I don't like the maths.
Trying to avoid thinking about Snickers (and how they taste) right now, which is not easy as several work colleagues keep teasing me by eating them near me (and drawing attention to it). Makes me more determined not to bottle it, mind.
Have an apple and two clementines left to complete the day (another 3 1/2 hours). I don't like the maths.
Snickers
We have free Snickers (Marathons in old money) at work. This is a bad thing.
Currently I am mentally staring down the box containing them at a colleague's desk. Man, this is hard. The problem is that I am not hungry (not physically hungry) for a bar, but yet I want it so much. I want the sugar rush that it'll bring, and the fact that for a blissful hour after I eat it I won't be wanting to have another one - which means I'll be free from the effort of having the mentally stare down the box containing them.
Still, time for positives - it's 11:40am and I've resisted them for 2 1/2 hours (which is 1 1/2 hours more than I held out for yesterday) - so right now today is a good day.
I'm drinking squash today, so I'm not so dehydrated - I'm sure this is helping the situation.
Currently I am mentally staring down the box containing them at a colleague's desk. Man, this is hard. The problem is that I am not hungry (not physically hungry) for a bar, but yet I want it so much. I want the sugar rush that it'll bring, and the fact that for a blissful hour after I eat it I won't be wanting to have another one - which means I'll be free from the effort of having the mentally stare down the box containing them.
Still, time for positives - it's 11:40am and I've resisted them for 2 1/2 hours (which is 1 1/2 hours more than I held out for yesterday) - so right now today is a good day.
I'm drinking squash today, so I'm not so dehydrated - I'm sure this is helping the situation.
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