The weekend

Today has been good. SlimFast for breakfast, with an orange. Had a coffee at church and had a little biscuit, but not a biggy. At lunch had a friend over and B and I cooked a large batch of Spaghetti Bolognese with a little bit of garlic bread. Successfully left a 1/5th (not hard, there was loads) - and will have a SlimFast tonight to keep up the good work.

Yesterday was, however, not so good.

It started so well. SlimFast in the morning - then went out and played squash with a friend (lost, but played quite well) - and then something weird happened. Despite drinking lots on the squash court, I think I was still wickedly dehydrated when I got back as I was ravenous, so ended up having lunch at 11.30 (SlimFast + fruit) - and then by 1pm I was mega hungry again...

...so I snacked.

I knew that there were some open biscuits hidden away in a biscuit jar and I grabbed one and like a naughty child wolfed it down so quick I almost forgot to breathe. It was heaven. So I had another one. And then, 10 minutes later, I had another one.

Radar contact was well and truly lost, and temporarily at least I felt in familiar territory. I was in the middle of a binge.

Saturdays are normally a bad day for binges - mostly because if B is working I'm on my own - but also because historically Saturday's have been a day for treats, and there is no better treat that putting the discipline to one side and allowing yourself to eat what you want.

I managed to pull myself out of the binge temporarily whilst I went out to play disc golf with some friends, but by the time I was back, concious of the fact that I'd "blown it" already, I allowed myself to go hunting for some more stuff to eat. The tiny bit of ice cream left was soon gone in a whirl, as was a quarter of a packet of raisins, before finally I started to feel full, and I was safe again.

Went food shopping without incident, and had some beans on toast in the evening. Bought myself a DVD so that I'd have something to watch in the evening to stop me eating more (and also to 'treat' myself with a non-food treat), and that worked quite well as there were no further incidents.

As binges go, I've had worse, and this one was fairly tame - but left me feeling really guilty, and annoyed that I'd ruined the good work of the week -- the truth is, of course, that I haven't ruined the good work, just taken the gloss off slightly. Fessed up the truth to B when she got back, which was quite hard (especially as they were 'her' biscuits) - but it felt good being honest about my eating for once, rather than trying to hide it.

So, there we are. Dust myself off, and start again - hence the good start today.

Let's hope it continues.